It was one of those mornings. I started to get caught up in my head. Tears began to fall down my face. Worry. Confusion. Fear.
There’s a 7-11 on my route. I don’t go in there every day, but when I do, there’s always this really nice man, Raj, at the counter. A few months back he told me he liked when I came in because I smiled at him and said hello when I walked in the door.
I was curious, “But, isn’t that what everyone does?” I asked him.
He looked down and said, “No. It’s rare.” We talked about the early hour and how most people are probably just tired and either working overnight shifts or just getting out of bed – and tossed around some reasons why he wouldn’t get many smiles at 4:30am. Not making excuses for anybody, just trying to understand and acknowledge their hearts so Raj didn’t take it personally.
It was one brief conversation, but ever since then, whenever I go in the store I ask God to give me the smile I need to say hello to Raj no matter what circumstances I am facing or how tired I am {because some days at that hour, I am T-I-R-E-D!}.
So, this morning, mid-tearing up I realized I was coming up on 7-11 and said that prayer. A calm came over me, and when I walked in to Raj smiling wide, we wished each other a happy new year, and I was oh so grateful for God’s grace to take the place of the angst on my face.
Another gentlemen was at the counter when I was checking out. We exchanged “hello’s” and he said almost the exact same thing Raj said to me in the conversation a few months ago. He asked me how I could smile at such an early hour and be so cheerful.
I paused. Only moments before I was in tears in my car. Do I tell him? Do I lay it all on him? Do I let him know that Raj needs a smile and since he needs a smile I ask God to give it to me and in turn healing Raj actually heals me and all in all it feels like God is present and His grace is sufficient for me no matter what the circumstances I am facing? And, that when I call on Him, the One, the great I Am, He answers and lives in me?
Or is that too deep for 4am pleasantries at a counter at 7-11 before I even sipped my first cup of coffee and before the kind gentlemen even read his morning paper?
I simply replied, “By the grace of God, I am alive! And I’m about to have my coffee. All is good.” We laughed. And I left feeling refreshed, reinvigorated, spark rekindled. Thanks be to God.
I realize the key is to fix my thoughts on all that IS good. A wandering mind serves no one, because the weight of it all sitting in there is too heavy to carry alone, and it won’t change whatever it is one is thinking about anyway. Stewing in muck doesn’t make it taste any better.
I turned up the radio and allowed the songs to speak to me. At my next stop, a mental picture popped in my heart of my precious angels {LuLu and Little Man}, who remind me of our essence, who we were all created to be, who can turn a gray cloud into a rain dance any day, and released…released…released…weight melting, spirit shifting even more.
Last delivery of the day. Walked up to the door step and what to my wondering eyes should appear {Ok, The Night Before Christmas is fresh in my head…but it wasn’t St. Nick}…A nail on the ground. A symbol, really. A beautiful message {set perfectly where my eyes would catch it} sent as a reminder of Him.
Another tear falls. This one, not of worry, confusion, or fear at all, but of hope.
Now, it’s time for another cup of coffee. Last one of the day ~ and then it’s just hot water, lemon, and cinnamon for me {but that’s a whole other post!!}.
Enjoy this amazing morning.
Warmly from My Heart to Yours,
Jenn
{or as my family calls me Jennie, or if you want to be formal, Jennifer, I answer to just about anything…}
