My husband and I decided to take LuLu and Little Man to the town carnival on Saturday night. Lu was counting the minutes until we left and Man was in awe at the lights on the ferris wheel. It was just magical watching them ride some rides, eat ice cream, and get excited to take some chances.

But, when Michael went to play his first chance with LuLu, he pointed to a sign that read:

$5.00 to play. Everyone wins.

Huh? What? First off, never mind the fact that is was $5.00 for ONE CHANCE, but everyone wins? We were shocked. I inquired, and the woman went on to explain that we had to buy the toy prize to play the game, that way “no one would leave the fair disappointed.”

Well, Lu and Man left disappointed because we wouldn’t let them play that chance.

There were a couple of the games that actually let you play – the ball toss was 3 balls for $5.00, and we lost that. There was knocking the pins down, which Michael knew well, and taught Lu how to hit it just right. We left with a purple stuffed unicorn. Lu twinkled with pride in herself and her daddy.

But most of the other games were pay and win.

It made me think about some of my greatest successes (both as a child and in my adult life) came following a fall and/or a lot of hard work and determination to push through. My husband was an athlete, and he couldn’t agree more. There were no trophies for 13th place in 1982.

Of course, I understand the importance of nurturing our children’s self-esteem and teaching them how to do things, but isn’t the true test of character found while enduring the climb? What boosts self-esteem more than a ‘comeback’? A rise after a fall? Determination? Sweat? Tears?

Had the woman in the carnival booth not seen Rudy?

We have to let our children fail. If we don’t, they will never know how to deal with real life. After 1 setback, they will give up. They will create a web of self-limiting beliefs that will hold them back from reaching their true potential.

I have 2 little ones, and I know to see them hurt or disappointed is heartbreaking. Just the other day Lu was practicing writing the alphabet, and she couldn’t get “N”. It kept turning into “M”. She asked me to just write the “N” for her – she was a little frustrated, actually near tears. It took all I could to not grab the pen and help her draw “N” , but instead I pulled out the “N” flashcard, and told her to use it as a guide. She drew “N” on her own, and danced around the house singing for 10 minutes. I don’t think we would have had nearly the same reaction if I just drew the “N” for her.